Sometimes You Just Need To Say It

Black and White and Rust Abstract

Black and White and Rust Abstract

There is no handbook for relationships and sometimes I just don’t know when I should shut up or when I should just say what I have to say. There are no hard fast rules on these things and deciding what to do, when to speak up seems like an impossible task.

Recently I learned that I went through all sorts of emotional traumas simply because I withheld what I really needed to say when the other person really needed to hear my opinion. Sometimes when we hold in our feelings all we do is make for a really messy argument later on.

I am glad that I am learning to think before I “blast off” and upset someones feelings, but at the same time I still need to learn to speak the truth without judging the other person and to speak the truth in love. It is not easy. I am grateful that I am learning to be honest, gracious, loving and gentle in stating my mind.

Louis Hay or Rather Louise Hay . You Can Heal Your Life

 

Blue Light

Blue Light

I am always checking my stats as I have always been obsessed with numbers and I find it fascinating how people end up finding my personal writings or my business directory pages. The other day I began to notice that many of you were coming to me looking for Louise Hay by punching in Louis Hay in Google. I happened to misspell her name the other day and evidently stumbled upon a common mistake.

Louise Hay is the author of the bestselling self help book, “You Can Heal Your Life”. You can find out more about her books and her work here at LouiseHay.com or at HayHouse.com.

My “Bowl of Abundance”

Bowl of Abundance

There is a section on my daily walk that I call my “Bowl of Abundance”. Before I get to this particular spot there is a beautiful path that is covered on both sides with tall trees that make for something of a dark tunnel. As I approach this spot, the light from this open space floods the tunnel and welcomes you to come in. When you walk into the space, you get the feeling that this marvelous place of green grass, specimen trees and endless blue sky was created just for you. In reality it was; this beautiful spot was transformed into a public park some years ago from a toxic Superfund site. It is the best part of my daily walk and sometimes after my five mile journey, I will take a few moments and take in the beauty of this place.

The principle of abundance that I am learning about is one of that I have gleaned out of Louis Hay’s “You Can Heal Your Life“. As I was coming out of my depression, this part of my daily walk became my own personal bowl of abundance. The sky is so open here that it feels like a gigantic bowl that has been turned upside down. I guess in that sense it is my dome of abundance. This place symbolizes my own reworking of my mind and my spirit to concentrate more on good things, to be grateful for what I have and to believe that I deserve a bountiful abundance of every good thing in the universe as we all do.

I am grateful for the healing power of good physical, mental and spiritual habits.

Fall Mandala

Fall Mandala: Infinite Orange

Fall Mandala: Infinite Orange

This mandala was made by using a kaleidoscope effect on a fall leaf that I picked up on my walk yesterday. This was done with Paint Shop Pro. At the bottom of this post, you can see the original leaf that the image was made from.

I am grateful for the beauty of the colors of fall and the ever changing quality of nature. There are surprises out there every day for me if I am willing to pay attention and to be grateful. I am grateful for the scanner which allowed me to photograph the leaf and capture these incredible colors and textures. I am grateful for the art program which allows me to transform these images into another reality. I am grateful for the technology that makes it all possible. I am grateful for the inventors that came up with these incredible tools.

I love this fall mandala and the infinity of space that it symbolizes for me.

Fall Leaf: From a walk along the Delaware River in NJ

Fall Leaf: From a walk along the Delaware River in NJ

Learning to Listen

Listen . Water . Waves . Light

Listen . Water . Waves . Light

One of the things that I am learning right now is how to listen.

At times when I listen to friends talk about their problems I am tempted to jump in and try to offer solutions even before they have finished describing the situation. At other times I feel overwhelmed by what they are saying and have a hard time not letting their chaos or despair overtake me and make me feel hopeless.

I know that the best thing for me to do is sit and wait and let them come to a natural stopping point. I know that the best thing is to see the situation they are describing as outside of myself. I guess I can sometimes be so empathetic that I put myself at risk. I also want to maintain a certain openness. I do not want to be clinical and detached. I guess I am seeking balance.

It’s time for my walk.

Affirmations That Work (in their own time)

Rock Window

Rock Window

From Answers.com the definition of affirm: 

  1. To declare positively or firmly; maintain to be true.
  2. To support or uphold the validity of; confirm.

From my own experience an affirmation is a positive declaration of something I want to see come true. It is much more than a wish. It is making a statement that this deeply desired outcome has already materialized while at the same time thanking the universe for making it so.

Sometimes it can be discouraging when you make the affirmation over and over again every day and nothing seems to budge. The situation seems hopeless and stagnant.

Last night I found out that one of my affirmations that I make every day on my walk is beginning to materialize. It is happening in a different manner than I had affirmed and in a much larger and much more positive way than I could have ever imagined or asked for. I think that the big movements that need to occur in our lives sometimes take more time than we might think necessary. We have to wait for the conditions to be right. Big changes don’t always occur on our schedule.

I am grateful for the confirmation of my affirmations. I am grateful for a changed reality in my life and the lives of those around me. I am grateful for the increase in hope and confidence that this change brings.

Depression . Suicide . Help

Pattern Abstract

Pattern Abstract

 I am amazed that many of the people that I have been closest to in my life have had a history of suicide attempts. I guess it was just something in me that gave me some sort of understanding of these souls or maybe it was for my own understanding and protection because I was bound to have the crisis that I had this year where my entire world went black. At my darkest moment, there was someone standing beside me that had been there before. He offered me a hand to literally get up off the ground and a shoulder to cry on. I feel like the most blessed man in the world at this point to have had that friend there at that moment and to have come out the other side. I want to help as many people as I can that might travel down that dark tunnel like I did and that is really what this blog is about.

I am grateful for the writings of Louise Hay for giving me a few strands of hope to hold onto. I continue to do my daily walks and they are important in keeping my mind and body in a better state even if I do not have earth-shaking revelations every day. I am grateful for every step of my walk. I am grateful for the time that I have every day to take these walks to remake my mind and to create peace in my soul and my world.

Today in doing some research into Deepak Chopra, I came across a website that I thought might be very helpful to those of you struggling with depression and with thoughts of suicide as I was a short time ago. The site is appropriately called This Is A War.com, and this is their welcome message from their page on suicide:

Welcome to thisisawar.com.

This site was created to remind you that while you may well feel overwhelmed by life circumstances, no problem is greater than your ability to solve it.

Having said this, we all need a hand from time to time.

So click on the index below for the sections that apply to you (and there will probably be several).

Take your time to read each page. Copy them and print them up if you feel the need.

In each section, you will find useful information, immediate help, email addresses, telephone numbers, message boards, links to helpful books, and terrific sections on hope and laughter.

You may not feel needed at the moment but believe me, you are.

You may not feel loved at the moment but believe me, you are.

You may feel like there is no hope but believe me, there is.

You are needed.

You are loved.

There is hope.

Nothing happens by accident; there’s a good reason you reached this page.

Welcome!

By the way this post today is part of my healing. I needed to admit that I have had thoughts of suicide. I am not ashamed. I will not hide. The fear of the thoughts, and the shame of having them is almost worst than the thoughts themselves.

Deepak Chopra . Perception . Depression

Study in Gray

Study in Gray

Sometimes when I read Deepak Chopra, I am reminded of the old saying: vanity, vanity, all is vanity. If everything around us is simply perception, why then do we even bother doing anything, why did he bother to write the book. If there is nothing that exists outside of us, then why go on? Is everything in the world going on for just my benefit? Why then is there so much going on that I cannot pay attention to all of it?

I am grateful for the wisdom I am finding in Chopra, but sometimes the questions that his writings bring up get awfully BIG in my head. Sometimes these questions are not good for my recovery from depression. I am grateful that I have the ability to stay calm and objective to sort through these things.

Letting Go: Challenges of a Perfectionist

Yellow Flower from the Garden District in New Orleans

Yellow Flower from the Garden District in New Orleans

I think I probably could have called this Blog “Letting Go” because on the spiritual journey that I am on it seems that I am coming up on the need to do this over and over again, each time in slightly different ways. My need to let go is very strong evidently.

I have always felt driven to always tell people exactly what I think about them and about the best course that I think they should take. The problem is that, not everyone wants to hear my opinion all the time and sometimes I just need to shut up and let it go. I have to trust the universe to get the message out without thinking that I am the sole messenger of truth or wisdom.

I may be driven to perfection, but I don’t have to use it as an instrument of torture over myself, my family, my friends or my associates. I have to learn to let things work themselves out sometimes or simply fall where they may and find their own way.

I am grateful that I am learning to temper my perfectionism. I am grateful that I am learning how to express it. I am grateful that I am learning to let go of my perfectionism. I am grateful that there is a wonder and a beauty to the world around me that is an imperfect world.

Learning about perfectionism is learning about forgiveness.