Milepost .... (or half a mile post)
My prescription for peace within myself and within the world is simply that: Focus on the only thing that we can ever change: ourselves.
Yesterday, I listened to a friend telling me what a horrible day she had one day this week and that’s all I could think of the while she told the story: The only person I can ever change is me. She told me how horrible this person had treated her and how wrong it was for anyone to act that way and how that person will never learn if someone doesn’t tell them they can’t behave that way. So she proceeded to file a complaint with her boss to prove to her how wrong she was. The lady was horrified for being turned in and to get back at my friend, she returned her Christmas present the next day. My friend was very proud of herself for standing up for herself and for what was right.
As I listened I realized that the hurt in this case was caused not by the lady who was mean, but by my friend who turned the lady’s actions into hurt inside her own heart. This “mean lady” did not take that hurt and place it inside of my friend’s heart, soul or mind. My friend made her own hurt and then was proud of what she had done.
In looking at this situation from the outside, it was easy to see the mistakes that my friend had made. It is not so easy when it is my own life that I am talking about with my own arguments and my own “nasty people” to deal with. The truth is still the same however. I cannot change the behavior or attitudes of anyone around me. I can only change how I react to others. I can only choose to change myself and not anyone else. I can take responsibility for my own emotions and my own happiness and my own life. For this I am grateful.
The quandary here however is how to tell my friend that I think she is wrong and that she is setting herself up for more hurt and more pain. Am I not trying to change my friend by telling her that I think she is wrong?
