Tag Archives: emotions

Movements

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Fall Weave

Fall Weave

As the season progresses into late fall, it is amazing to watch the colors, textures and forms of nature change everyday. It reminds me that nothing is ever static or frozen and that I must shift and move with nature and never get stuck or frozen.

I have also been thinking allot about mind control. I seem to be moving beyond being careful to remain positive to just telling myself that I do not have the time to be depressed or to entertain morbid or self defeating thoughts.

My walk today was very difficult physically. I got a mile down the path and wanted to turn back just from the pain I felt in my legs, but I knew that it was important for my spirit, my emotions, my mind and my body that I just keep going and complete my 5 mile walk.

Sometimes You Just Need To Say It

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Black and White and Rust Abstract

Black and White and Rust Abstract

There is no handbook for relationships and sometimes I just don’t know when I should shut up or when I should just say what I have to say. There are no hard fast rules on these things and deciding what to do, when to speak up seems like an impossible task.

Recently I learned that I went through all sorts of emotional traumas simply because I withheld what I really needed to say when the other person really needed to hear my opinion. Sometimes when we hold in our feelings all we do is make for a really messy argument later on.

I am glad that I am learning to think before I “blast off” and upset someones feelings, but at the same time I still need to learn to speak the truth without judging the other person and to speak the truth in love. It is not easy. I am grateful that I am learning to be honest, gracious, loving and gentle in stating my mind.

Letting Go Of Hurts

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Stone Heart

Stone Heart

I don’t always hold onto the good things and good times. I seem to be attached to some very bad things and horrible times in my life. It is amazing how hard it is for me to let go of these old hurts; those times when I have been rejected or ignored for reaching out to someone. It is important to remember that the hurt is something inside of me and not something that they did to me. I am responsible for my own emotions, my own reactions and my own well being. They may do something that causes me to feel hurt, but they did not place that feeling there. I did. I can choose to let that hurt reside in me and grow and set up residence, or I can choose to let it go. I guess sometimes I have to release some situations, some people, some hurts, over and over again until they disappear or dissolve into nothingness.

I am grateful this day that I am free of all old emotional wounds and that I set myself and others free. I release myself. I release those that “hurt me”. We are all free of my hurt. We are all free to love again. I can let go of my own hurt feelings and my negative emotions so that I can more fully embrace wonderful and great and beautiful things.

Now I am ready for my walk.

Responsibility

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Responsibility

Responsibility

It is a powerful thing to realise that I am responsible for my own feelings and my own thoughts. It can be a very scary thing to contemplate that, but it can also be an incredibly powerful thing if I can see it as a tool or as a gift and that I can be a master of my own life, that life is not something that happens around me. I can make my life whatever I want it to be.

We can claim responsibility for things inside of ourselves. We can claim responsibility for all of our feelings.

Neat Little Packages: Emotional Perfectionism

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Neat Little Packages with Bows

Neat Little Packages with Bows

On my walk the other day I was thinking and meditating about an argument that I had with a friend a few days earlier and I was trying to figure out what the problem was or what had gone wrong, and for the life of me, I could not come up with anything that had caused the problem that morning. I could not see what I or they had done wrong. All I came up with was an image of a tiny little package tied with a bow. At that point, it made no sense and I gave up on trying to understand it’s significance, and just kept on walking.

When I turned around at my two and a half mile marker, it hit me. I always seem to want to tie up “all my packages” with neat little bows. This can be an emotional package, a relationship package, a conversational package, a work package or any number of things that I might encounter or experience as part of my life. Life in all of it’s glory is not easily packaged in a neat little box. Friendships and intimate relationships certainly can never be neatly contained and perfectly wrapped. I guess this is part of my perfectionism that I need to learn to release. I cannot expect any relationship to not have a certain amount of dynamic tension or mystery in it. I have to learn to be comfortable with letting things be unresolved sometimes. I have to more trusting that the answers will come to me over time if I am patient.

I am grateful for the things that I am learning. I am grateful to be able to release the need for neat little packages. I am grateful to be able to embrace a larger and more powerful truth. I am grateful that I can enlarge my perspective on life. I am grateful that God and truth are bigger than my neat little packages. I am grateful to release more of my perfectionism to be able to embrace life as it is.