My Depression – The Worlds Depression

 

Abundance in Nature

Abundance in Nature

My Depression preceded the Worldwide Economic Crisis of 2008 by a few months and for that I am grateful. I don’t think I could have taken the entire planet writhing in pain at the same time that I was. It would have made “my world” even darker.

It is interesting to compare my own crisis with the worlds right now because at the base there is a striking similarity. Joe Nocera of the New York Times said of the financial crisis this morning:

Similarly, when times are bad, fear and loathing capture our imagination, and we find it equally impossible to see a glimmer of hope.

It is that same irrational fear and loathing that led to my own downfall. I was afraid of the future and I loathed my present and my past. I had come to absolutely hate myself. It was strange this week to see bankers, traders and big wigs acting out the same self destructive fantasies that I had in the midst of my depression. It seemed at times this week that the whole world had gotten a serious gut wrenching flu that was sending it into cold sweats with waves of nausea and pain.

The only way I had out of my crisis was to begin to respect myself again and to look for hope. In some way, that is what the world has to do now too. It has to learn from the mistakes of the recent past and get up off the floor, screaming at the top of its lungs, writing in pain.

The world is no less abundant than it was a few weeks ago.

The universe is not poorer than it was a few weeks ago.

The universe is just as rich as it ever was. Nothing has changed.

Do you have just one thing to be thankful for today? Is there more?

Letting Go II

Healing . Looking Up . Sky

Following up on yesterday’s post on “Letting Go Of Hurts”, I had some more thoughts. While on my walk I realized that part of my problem is that I am hording my pain like it’s a treasure. I am giving it more life by picking it up and examining and analyzing it way too much. I have done enough releasing of these people that I feel have hurt me. I now release them totally and wish them the best.

I also am happy to learn that I do not need to continue to bring up their names in my meditations. I now release them and the pain and I seek to heal the bruised parts of my soul.

I need to move on now. I need to just forget my own pain. I’ve done the forgiving, so now it is time to forget and move on. It is time that I said “NEXT” to my own thoughts. It is time to think new wonderful thoughts.

I want to heal. I am healing.